You Are Not The One

Sometimes loving the one you’re with is just a supreme waste of time. And we’re better than that. Right?

The Person Lying Next To Me

It isn’t love that keeps me here
Just the hope of it
Clinging to the dream
That I will one day awake
And no longer need the person lying next to me
Just something to keep me busy
Just a little something to ease the pain of my loneliness
A distraction
And while I wait
I wonder how you will look
And how you will speak
And what your fingertips will feel like
As they brush against my cheek
And sometimes when she holds me I pretend it's you
And it makes it easier to smile in her face
And come on her hand
And swallow her soggy cigarette flavored kisses
Kools
Menthol
I wipe my mouth on the pillow
Pretending she doesn’t notice
And then I sleep and dream of you
Knowing that one day I will awake
And no longer need the person lying next to me

© 09/06/02 Ms. GD

I’d Still Hit It! – Parte Sei

D'Angelo (AKA Michael D'Angelo Eugene Archer) – Grammy winning R&B singer and Hot Piece of Neo-Soul Trash.

Damn. The first time I heard Brown Sugar I knew this man was something special. No, better than special. He was on some new, New Shit and the whole world would be forced to wake up and take notice! And the world did wake up and she did take notice and what she saw first, as she stumbled groggily from her late 80's Soulless Soul Music coma, was a fine ass R&B crooner the likes of which hadn't been seen since 1979! Oh the 90's were off to a roaring start and Mr. Archer, along with Maxwell and Erykah Badu, was leading the charge!  But as usually happens with musical geniuses, Mr. Archer got caught up in drugs, alcohol and his own ego and changed from this:



And this:


And good LAWD this:


Into this:


But do you know what the truly twisted, sick and totally fucked up part of all this is? I’d Still Hit It!

D'Angelo – Lady


D'Angelo – Me And Those Dreamin Eyes Of Mine


Let this be a lesson to all you vain, self-centered types: yes drugs can help keep you pretty but once you throw that monkey from your back and choke him to death with your laptop power cord you will immediately (And by immediately I mean "instantaneously") gain copious amounts of weight so it's best to just leave that shit alone and eat right, exercise and get some damn sleep! – GD

For more I'd Still Hit it! click here.

Parliament Is In Session!

I'm still sick *cough* but I just had to post these fantastic Parliament-Funkadelic related tidbits before I coughed and limped off to bed.

I found this on The Onion. It's old but still funny as hell!

Clinton Threatens To Drop Da Bomb On Iraq
FEBRUARY 25, 1998 | ISSUE 33•07

CHOCOLATE CITY—In an address before an emergency session of Parliament Monday, George Clinton said he is prepared to drop Da Bomb on Iraq if Saddam Hussein does not loosen up and comply with U.N. weapons inspectors by the Clinton-imposed deadline of March 1.

"For Saddam Hussein to refuse to let U.N. officials inspect Iraqi weapons facilities as per the terms of Iraq's 1991 Gulf War surrender is decidedly unfunky of him," Clinton said. "While the decision to drop Da Bomb is never an easy one, unless Saddam gets down with this whole U.N.-inspection thang and seriously refunkatizes his stance by March 1, we will have no choice but to tear the roof off Baghdad."

Preparations for the military strike, dubbed Operation Supergroovalisticprosifunkstication Storm, are already underway. The Mothership is ready and on standby at Starchild Air Force Base in Detroit, where more than 5,000 bop gunners are making final preparations for deployment to the Persian Gulf. Clinton has also ordered an additional 2,500 Aquaboogie Amphibious Assault units to the Gulf, bringing the total P-Funk Nation military presence in the region to 23,000.

According to General William "Bootsy" Collins, the primary goal of the ground assault is to breach Hussein's presidential palace, capture the Iraqi leader, and "put some serious funk in his trunk."

Collins acknowledged that the mission would not be easy.

"Saddam's palace is heavily fortified. In the front, it's protected by several dozen towers manned with armed guards, and in the back, there's a 50-foot high hump—so high you can't get over it and so wide you can't get around it," Collins said. "Having our men attempt to attack from the front would be suicide: If we are to have any chance of entering the palace and funkatizing Saddam, we've got to get over the hump. After all, if you want to capture a boogie, you've got to attack from the back."

Despite the difficulty of the task ahead, troop morale is high. "As a soldier in the army of Uncle Jam, I have pledged my full groovallegiance to Commander-In-Chief Clinton," said Lieutenant Bernie Worrell of the army's elite 72nd Promentalshitbackwashpsychosis Enema Squadron. "I am fully prepared to give up my life for the funk. To the rear... march."

"Executing political adversaries, shunning foreigners, condemning America as 'The Great Satan'—that Saddam is one uptight cat," Mothership captain Eddie Hazel said. "For too long, he has ruled Iraq with neither a glide in his stride nor a dip in his hip. At this point, our only remaining option is to drop a serious funk bomb on him."

Clinton's ultimatum before Parliament was met with high praise from numerous top-ranking Chocolate City officials, including Secretary of Education Richard Pryor, Secretary of Fine Arts Stevie Wonder and First Lady Aretha Franklin.

"Saddam has two choices," Pryor said. "Get down or step down."

While polls indicate that Operation Supergroovalisticprosifunkstication Storm enjoys strong support among Chocolate City residents, many residents of the city's less funky vanilla suburbs question its purpose.

"Why are we dropping Da Bomb on Iraq if it's only Saddam we're after?" Peter Strosser, 37, said. "If Da Bomb is dropped on Baghdad, the bootys of countless innocent Iraqi civilians will be tragically loosened. Is that what we want, to turn millions of decent, reserved Iraqis into free-spirited, dance-crazed party people? I think not."

"The effects of dropping this 50,000-megafunk bomb on a heavily populated city like Baghdad will be devastating," said Linda Sue Strelczyk, president of Suburbanites Against Da Bomb. "At ground zero, the explosion will give off a horrific, blinding flash-light, causing untold millions who look directly into it to get totally freaky."

Responding to the anti-Bomb protests among the unfunky, Clinton made an impassioned plea for unity.

"In times of crisis such as this, we must stand united, not divided," Clinton said. "We must join together as one nation under a groove, getting down just for the funk of it."

This is one of my new favorite commercials! This makes me laugh every time I see it!

Having cute little kids dance to We Want The Funk? Priceless!

Okay...another coughing fit...gotta go! - GD

Lost And Found

I'm still sick and I hate it!  I've coughed so much I have a headache and my appetite is nil.  This is how I know I'm getting old.  UGH. Anyway, here's a poem I wrote a long time ago. There seems to be a little history repeating here. Funny that...

How I Lost Her

I used to be able to know things but
My knowing has up and disappeared

I wish I could get her back but I don’t know how
My La Loba, my Wolf Woman, has deserted me
And I don’t really blame her for doing so.

When she said go left
I said go right
When she said not to trust that one
I said that one loves me

I was foolish, I know
How could I have disobeyed her?
She who has lived in my soul
Since the beginning of time

When she left not a word was spoken
Her hand came away from mine
She changed into her wolf self
And ran away to play with her sisters

It will take some time to find her
It will be difficult to navigate
The thick and ancient forest of my mind
Without her by my side

But I will remember what she taught me
And we will be one again

And then, feeling rather sick, he went to look for some parsley.