I’ve wanted to start a new blog but I couldn’t think of anything worthwhile. Well my poetry isn’t really worthwhile but I like the idea so here it is. Some of my stuff rhymes and some of it doesn’t. I like Haiku so you’ll be seeing some of that as well. I don’t really have a specific plan so I might change direction. Who knows! We will take this as it comes.My first entry is a poem I wrote four months after my ex-boyfriend killed himself. He was my first love and we didn’t end on good terms so it was very difficult for me when I found out about his death. My feelings of loss were compounded by the fact that he was afflicted with paranoid schizophrenia and refused to take any medication. This meant he’d been suffering terribly and that suffering lead to his decision to take his life.
In the midst of such great sadness was one bright spot. In one of his few moments of clarity he decided to call me, about three months before his death. I was able to tell him how much I loved him in spite of all our drama and he was able to, I think, gain some peace of mind.
The Deep
For William
Down
Into
The deep
I dive
Flesh covered submarine going
Down
Into
The deep
Of your dark water
Dive
Straight
Down
Past the seaweed
Past the place where dolphins sleep
Past the point of no return
Down
Into
The deep
Pressure sits down hard on my chest yet
Down I go
Into
The murkiness of you
Where the fish are saber-toothed
Where the fish are lit from within
Where the fish laugh and tell you lies
Way down
Into
The deep
Of your mind
Come with me
I say
Holding out my webbed hand
But you slap it away
I love you
You say
But this is my home
Way down
Here in
The deep
But you weren’t born here
I try to argue
Don’t I look like you
But you’ve never seen your reflection
So how would you know
Way down
Here in
The deep
As you like
I say
Stay here and drown
And I rise
Rise up
Straight up from
The deep
Of your mind
Your murkiness
Left behind
But not the memory
Of you
Down
There
Way down
Floating
In
The
Deep
© 6/29/00 Ms. GD
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